I could NEVER do that!

"He who calls you is faithful, He will surely do it." ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:24

One phrase, as a homeschooling momma, that I hear most is, "Good for you for homeschooling, but I could 'Never' do that!"  Today, I received one of those comments and it got me thinking about my "Never"!

My oldest son went to Kindergarten and I had a heart as any other mom did: Sadness, happiness, anxiety... I LOVED his teacher and so did he! We are still friends and I value her wisdom! My son eventually had a bully on the bus :( You know that moment when they've been hiding in tears as to not get made fun of, but as soon as they see momma they just can't hold them back anymore?! Yeah, that was when God started working!

I contacted the school and the bus facility... it got a little better, but it didn't stop! I kept thinking, talking, praying, seeking and researching homeschooling. I didn't want to do it! I kept telling God all the reasons I couldn't do it... I don't have a degree in education, I haven't held a job in years, all my friends will be kid-free, I don't know anyone else who home schools! 

The Superintendent and I talked and worked out a part time schedule (as I still couldn't quit arguing with God that He actually knew more than me, hmmm). Tuesdays and Thursdays I had my boys! Both of their teachers were amazing and very supportive! Around November I caved! The boys finished the semester, wrote Thank You notes to the teachers and they gave them time in class to say, "Bye!" It was perfect, except now I didn't know what to do!

Luckily, I had a few friends that home schooled and a wonderful support group. I later joined a homeschool coop, which we attend every week and is one of the biggest blessings in my life.

My oldest doesn't love his math, but he's over a year advanced and loves to write, read and spell! My second struggles with reading, but is also over a year advanced in math and loves to draw and get creative. My daughter is sassy and smart! We have time to focus on what my kids love, they all three have a lesson a week and it doesn't take away a single evening of family time. We foster children and see our friends many times through the week. We serve others, go on a field trip at least once a month and spend lots of time outdoors.

I said, "I would never homeschool" too, but now God has showed me that my never wasn't His! It's funny the things He calls us to do. If we always got to do what we were the best at, than when would we ever lean on Him?! He has shown me that no degree or job teaches my child, it's the love that teaches them. It's God and how He uses me and guides me in training them for life. My prayer is that I listen!!

I pray I argue less with God in the future, but I take comfort in knowing that He knows when we will and when we need a little extra push!

God has called me to a road less travelled and I am grateful that He did!

"For the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say." ~Luke 12:12

Question?...

Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance ~ Proverbs 1:5



I am sitting here with my husband after finishing up at a graduation party for a sweet high school girl and answered lots of questions about our foster children (which I LOVE to do!) I would much rather people ask, then sit and wonder! So, if you're curious, please ask :) I have decided to pull together, from memory, a list of questions that have been asked over the months! Enjoy :)


Q: Why did you decide to foster instead of just adopting?
A: We originally decided to adopt, so I called the agency to find out more about the process! She sent me information and in that packet, I seen a brochure about foster care. I called back to ask more and she filled me in on how Illinois only uses foster families and they are in GREAT need! Then, she said they had just turned away 3 week old twin baby girls! My heart sank! I called Dan and we decided to go in and talk more details...the rest is history!


Q: What is the process of becoming licensed like?
A: Starts off with a 13 week session of classes (3 hours each). You can choose between one per week from 6:00-9:00 pm or two a days (Saturday from 9-4 with an hour lunch) or two per week in the evening! There is also a required background check, fingerprinting, reference checks, three house visits, measurements and questions! During the sessions, you will have homework every week!


Q: How much does it cost?
A: Nothing! Our children need YOU and our state knows that!!! Good families are hard to find for these children who can't call a home a "home"!


Q: How many bedrooms do you need and how big?
A: Bedroom number and size depends on how many kids you wish to become licensed for! We are licensed for three at a time, we have three kids of our own and we have three bedrooms!! Each child requires 40 square feet each! Siblings of opposite sex can share a room under age 6, then need to be separated. We have a boys room and a girls room (4 boys and 2 girls)


Q: How long will you have him? Will you keep him?
A: The way the "system" works is based on 6 month increments, on court dates. Every 6 months, the mom/dad is reevaluated and the judge decides if the child will stay with the foster parent or return home. Our life with these children is based on 6 months at a time. I have the outlook that they will return home (as I sincerely do hope their parents get help and better), but if that were to change and the child was a good fit for our family...YES, we would have the choice to adopt!


Q: How do your kids feel about it?
A: We talked to our kids a lot before we decided to take this step and we are very open with them along the way. They love and have bonded very well to the children that have passed through our home. Elli has shown the biggest struggle with sharing momma more when a new kid comes, but after a few days, it balances out! I just have to make sure to shower the same attention and love on all my kids :) 


Q: How can you do it, love and release?
A: I think all parents release (to an extent) at some point in your children's lives. Letting go and praying that they keep their hearts turned to God! It's sorta the same for us! We have to let these kids go! We pray they have seen God when they were here and we pray they felt loved, but if they pass on from our home, we know their time with us was precious and valued. We pray for the children and their families. I know, as a momma, how hard it would be to not have your babies...so we pray! Another comfort that we have is knowing that God loves each of these kids far more than their birth parents, foster parents or respite care takers. He loves them SO much!!! That's where my strength lies!


Q: Why do you just have some kids for just a couple days?
A: That is respite care (babysitting provided by the state). We babysit kids due to foster parents going on vacation and one just needed a break! A respite provider is usually given second choice to adopt a child (if foster parents decline). Believe it or not, not all foster parents want to adopt!


Q: Can you strictly adopt out of the foster care program?
A: YES!!!!!!! Yes, you can! There is quite a substantial waiting list of children! Visit: AdoptUsKids to view the children who are waiting for a home!! 


This is just a few "off-the-top" questions that came to mind as I am writing, if you have one that's not listed, please ask! I do hope I answered some questions on this topic and hope you act on that nudge you may be feeling.


If you're reading this and you're simply just interested...you never know where or how God may use this knowledge :) My learning has definitely increased and I have heard the cry! Do you?

A Continuously Changing Family

And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me. ~Matthew 18:5


A lot has changed in the past few months in my life and I feel ready to start blogging it again! In October 2011, we got our Foster Parent License in the mail thinking, "Great! What next?" A month later, this happened!

"Ring, Ring" "Ring, Ring"

Me: "Hello!"
Amber: "Hi Kisha! How are you?"
Me: "Good, thanks!"
Amber: "Well, we have a child for you!"
Me: *Shocked and speachless at how fast...* "Okay..."
Amber: "He is two days old, his name is Ziekeal. He is African American and will be ready in about two hours." "Do you need to call Dan and talk about it?"
Me: "I know that Dan and I are here for this reason and we would love to have him in our home!"
Amber: "Sounds good. Meet me in two hours!

At that moment, I hung up and called Dan and then three good friends who provided everything I needed in those short two hours! Blessings indeed. In the next weeks I received an abundance for this sweet baby!

He is now over 6 months old, just cut two bottom teeth, started on baby food and loves to laugh, sleep, eat and poop! He is a joy and we are so blessed for saying, "Yes!" to that phone call on November 14, 2011! What a blessing!

In the weeks to follow, we had two other children come into our home (a brother and sister) and in the months to follow we had a 6 year old boy come through our home! In 6 months, we had 5 children pass through our home, some multiple times, one long term and one short term, but they each have left an impression.

I have seen the first hand need of foster parents or adoptive parents to adopt out of the foster system. These sweet kids are confused, unsure and probably scared, but they all have one thing in common...they all need love and routine! If your heart is even thinking about this area, I urge you to talk to someone you know, myself or call an agency!

One thing my husband and I have said from the beginning is, "Whatever the reason or the length of stay, every child who walks into our home will feel loved!" It's a simple concept we all know to well! I can't tell you how many times I hear, "It would be so hard, I could never do that (you know, love a child, care for a child with the very good possibility they will return home)" I can assure you that is not me, Dan or our family...It is God! He has softened and opened our hearts to children and we have faith that He will not leave us when the time comes for a child to return home. He has been with us thus far and I can assure you that we have needed and leaned on Him many times for comfort, peace and understanding!

I do know that God does not lay these lifestyles on the hearts of every family, but I do know there are some who are nervous to get started, scared, too many questions, etc. Just ask :)

Oh, and how do our kids feel about it? Ask them! I can tell you that I have never been more proud of my boys then seeing them take these younger kids under their wing! From holding their hands in a parking lot to wrapping their arm around them on a carnival ride! Seeing those moments gives me peace! I used to say, "I pray my kids have a passion for children when they are older!" But, it's funny...I already see it!!!


I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me! ~ Matthew 25:40